This morning, I feel like I never went to sleep at all. Drunk's a feeling. Morning after, usually sober. Not today. Kind of wish I was. Kind of wish I had another drink. Don't want to feel like this, though. Is drunk better than morning after drunk? Not sure.
My fingers scan the keyboard looking for the right combination of strokes to portray my madness. Funny thing. I just don't understand my madness. I must be mad.
My hands. Ugly and swollen. Thirsty. Yes. For Water. Soda and Vodka... Good idea?
At least today I am free of obligation. Well, not really. There are things I ought to do. I passed out in a plate of chicken nuggets last night. Honey mustard and all. Not too messy. I dispense the mustard as needed. Crumbs everywhere. If I was sober I'd clean it the fuck up. But I'm not. So I cannot.
Keep on keepin' on.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
This Morning's Coffee
A few things I jotted down, in my usual state of morning restlessness.
These days... I feel as stable as a crooked bookshelf. My knowledge falling over itself, all that I know... falling to the ground. Placemarkers lost, can't even remember where I left off. The known has escaped, replaced by assumptions and inferences.
Lonliness is more overbearing than usual. Everyone I know, busy with their glamorous lives. Where does this leave me? Stuck. I'm broke, bored, drunk, and horny. I need a lover. Whenever I think I found the right one... its just never what it seems. Their other one always seem to interfere. But they're fond of me and just cannot let me go. Why must I attract these preoccupied girls.
I'd better be careful with this particular study. This one is wonderful. She says one day it'll happen. Today's a day. True Story. Tomorrow's a day. For some reason I think it'll only happen at night.
When I watched her this particular day, I remember it clearly. It was on the second half of a bender. We shared a hangover cocoon in the form of my bed. She was wearing a gorgeous little black dress, and in that hangover daze, it had worked its way almost completly up her tan thighs. Her little white underwear, peaking out, almost taunting me. In the heat of July, and the booze seeping out of our pores, a proposition to go swimming was agreed on and acted upon. Late afternoon, and at the pool, I could not help but stare in awe of her beauty. We laughed at the lifeguards and other characters in attendance at the city's public pool. When it was all said and done, back with Him, she will always be.
These days... I feel as stable as a crooked bookshelf. My knowledge falling over itself, all that I know... falling to the ground. Placemarkers lost, can't even remember where I left off. The known has escaped, replaced by assumptions and inferences.
Lonliness is more overbearing than usual. Everyone I know, busy with their glamorous lives. Where does this leave me? Stuck. I'm broke, bored, drunk, and horny. I need a lover. Whenever I think I found the right one... its just never what it seems. Their other one always seem to interfere. But they're fond of me and just cannot let me go. Why must I attract these preoccupied girls.
I'd better be careful with this particular study. This one is wonderful. She says one day it'll happen. Today's a day. True Story. Tomorrow's a day. For some reason I think it'll only happen at night.
When I watched her this particular day, I remember it clearly. It was on the second half of a bender. We shared a hangover cocoon in the form of my bed. She was wearing a gorgeous little black dress, and in that hangover daze, it had worked its way almost completly up her tan thighs. Her little white underwear, peaking out, almost taunting me. In the heat of July, and the booze seeping out of our pores, a proposition to go swimming was agreed on and acted upon. Late afternoon, and at the pool, I could not help but stare in awe of her beauty. We laughed at the lifeguards and other characters in attendance at the city's public pool. When it was all said and done, back with Him, she will always be.
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